SKATEBOARD NUDE

If you haven’t heard yet, Skate Naked is moving to a new, way huger location, way out east on 5th Ave. It’s gonna have two street rooms, a bowl room, apartments, food, a chillzone, a skateshop, hot tub, bowling alley, go cart track, laser tag, ball pit, torture chamber, stripper poll, etc. Well, that list may be partially fabricated, but whatever, you get the point. It’s gonna have tons of fucking shit. Here’s what it looks like so far.

Shitty panoramic view. Click to enlarge, dummy.

This red thing looks fun.

Beginnings of the bowl room.

****BREAKING NEWS AT THIS HOUR****

Dan Drehobl said Ben’s name. Whatever. Dave Mirra thought my name once. Yeah, how many video games are named after Dan Drehobl? Huh Ben? But it turned out it was on accident, while trying to remember the name of this really annoying kid he used to fuck with in high school (It was Spencer Nishimura). This is the most exciting thing I have to report at this moment, as we are in the process of relocating Whassamatta You HQ to our new offices. Packing up our stacks upon stacks of money and cleaning all the semen off of the ceiling has been a rather arduous process. Expect slightly more exciting updates in the future, maybe.

Then/Then Later

2005:
Powell Skatepark opened

I skated there once (maybe twice) a day

I did something new here everyday

I met the people that are now my best friends

Everything was awesome and it rained candy and money, from rainbow-streaked skies

It is my favorite skatepark

2011:

A seasoned skatepark, with ever-expanding cracks and crevices, due to Ohio winters

I skate here once (maybe twice) a month

I still occasionally do something new here

Populated by (mostly) all shitheads

Rich kids show off their million-billion-dollar racecars in the parking lot

They cut down a bunch of the trees surrounding the skatepark in the past couple years. Rumor has it that the city did it because too many high school handies were being tossed off under the cover of the suburban foliage. I hope that is the case.

It is my favorite skatepark

Kickflip

Nollie Inward Heelflip

False Advertising

Well it seems as though at least one person has been directed to this site via a search engine query for “gay skateboarding”. Sorry if you were disappointed in what you found here, bud. Maybe this might be more along the lines of what you were looking for?

Be Excellent to Each Other, and Party On, Dudes

Shiiiiiiiit… just got back from the future… shit is looking pretty grim.

***********THE MOST SIGNIFICANT HAPPENINGS IN SKATEBOARDING FUTURE***************

2015 – The market for

This Website Promotes All Forms of Genital Mutilation

Don’t even try to go to this website on some wack ass hotel computer. As Michael found out, this what will happen:

The offending post.

Cam’ron Sez “No Homo”

Skateboarding is really fucking gay. I came to this conclusion while at Hodges’ debut open mic night performance this past week at The Scarlet and Gray Cafe. I spotted this amongst the piles of free publications and naturally I picked it up and flipped through it to see if it actually had anything to do with skateboarding.

No Narcissist

I’m all for a little friendly competition, but things can get pretty embarrassing when someone takes it a little too seriously. However, I am definitely not a fan of the website that this competition takes it’s name from.

WARNING: Although this website usually likes to pretend that professional skateboarding is not something exists, the following concerns the actions of quasi-celebrities that ride skateboards for a living proceed with extreme caution. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

AYO

Nostalgia is fucking bullshit. Hindsight sure as hell ain’t 20/20.