First Fish Perspective

Hey friends

I hope you hard a sweet Christmas or Hanukkah or Winter Solstice or whatever, and I hope you got lots of sweet, high-end, big ticket, consumer products. Myself, I received one of these:

A fisheye lens for my phone. Apparently they make these, although I have no idea what anyone would use these for besides filming for some sort of shitty, gimmicky skate video. But then again, I have no idea what people use normal sized fisheye lenses for, besides filming skateboarding, or like rollerblading, or any other aggressive recreational sportz. Eager to test it out, I used it to film Max do this amazing, stunning trick during a very merry Christmas session at Wo-town skatepark.

SODA WATER WAVE

If this new Flipcam montage from Whassamattayou and Quartersnacks associate Galen is to believed, his life consists of a medley of strippers, farm animals, looking at flowers, (t)rap music, and, of course skateboarding. While this video will most likely not contain anybody you know or have ever seen (minus one trick from Max that will also be in Whassamatta Two), it should be entertaining enough for any bored internet surfers looking for free content to consume. So consume away, culture vultures.

Friends Don’t Let Friends…

All the best skateboard tricks require the assistance of a second party!

Jaws Took A Dump

Shark shit, the fierce feces drifting below sea level, is the lowest of lows, the downest dump you can possibly be in when you are down in the dumps. Given its nature as the shittiest shit, “Shark Shit” is a fitting name for the upcoming video offering from our NYC linx, PFC. As you can see in the trailer below, skateboarding is undoubtedly responsible for some of the lowest lows. Its billing as “a video of happy accidents” is also quite apt, as watching these accidents made me quite happy.

Now watch Max do his best stripper impression, Ben getting burned on a flaming pipe, and other happy accidents for yourself:

Speaking of “happy accidents” and “shark shit”:

BI BI KALEB!!!

In case you haven’t heard, longtime bro brah Kaleb (Last name censored) skipped town last Monday, off to greener pastures. I’m not going to reveal his destination, just in case you are one of his many, many enemies that are after him, but let’s just say he’s gonna be suffering no shortage of Southern Baptists and country music. Not gonna write an essay for this guy since Ginger already made a speech about him in one of his classes, and Kaleb definitely does not need his ego to be inflated any further, but lemme just say we’ll all miss this huge fucking asshole (and I mean that in the most loving way possible).

A LOOK BACK (in roughly chronological order):

BALLER SINCE DAY ONE BABY

I really hate teenagers

This is a photo of Kaleb doing a smith grind.

Kaleb is such an asshole, that when Alex Olson was having trouble doing this wallie at the Quiksilver demo, Kaleb came up and did it in his face. And he thought he was sweet for doing so.

Kaleb loves getting high

Nice pillow

Nice headgear

Nice news reading outfit

KALEB IS SUCK A SICK GUY

THIS IS A REAL PHOTOGRAPH

THOSE LOOK LIKE THEY TASTE GOOD. ASK KALEB.

I CAN’T BELIEVE HE JUMPED FROM ONE SIDE, LANDED ON HIS TAIL AND SLID DOWN THE OTHER SIDE!

Kaleb going incognito at Skully’s.

The last picture I took of Kaleb before he left. 😦

WOW WHAT A SWELL GUY